A subject that catches one’s attention, a word that extends to various
levels and bring forth mixed emotions. It works on a daily basis, without cease
and with acceptable pay.
·
Daily, because every person does it to someone else
and/or themselves whether they know it or not.
·
Without cease, because it has specific destinations
that eventually extends beyond barriers. We may not know how to stop it and/or
we don’t always seek out the help needed for lack of wanting it or belief that
we don’t need it.
·
With pay, because there are many that become
satisfied on seeing someone else suffer for what we or someone else caused.
And, there are some that truly believe that what’s being done will help that
person’s maturity.
Hosea 4:6a
My people are destroyed for lack of
knowledge.
In “Baggage” I spoke about our children going to college and moving out.
In the second blog I mentioned the many facades and/or friends they would meet.
The questions
are…
Will they face abuse of any sort? And by whom? The unfortunate reality
is that we read and hear news based on abuse within fraternities, from
professors and roommates. But, what if your son or daughter were the ones
causing the abuse?
The reason I ask is because the main question in “Baggage” was, “Is it independence or escape?”
I’m one parent that places their child on a pedestal and I’m pretty sure
you do the same. But, how often did reality remove that pedestal from under having
truth expose what they are behind your back? Have you spoken to your child about
abuse and the many types? When and how to speak if they’re aware of abuse?
Should they get involved or approach someone? Are they willing enough?
For your personal research - Abuse in College Relationships.
You may be surprised or may not.
Jocelyn stared firmly into Lacey’s blue eyes. “Good morning,
Lacey. How’s your neck?” making sure that that she knew that something had
happened.
The response was spoken nervously while covering her neck,
“Oh, it's fine.”
Jocelyn
sweet voice became a bothered tone as her eyes squint, “No it’s not. Who did
this to you?”
Lacey jolted back, startled by the harsh tone from Jocelyn.
“Okay, okay. The day after I yelled at Brad for speaking to you the way he did,
he came to our room. I thought it was to make up or say sorry, but instead he
grabbed me by the neck.” - Reminiscence,
chapter 3
Behind your
back…
1. Your son or
daughter is the image of a good child - so good, that perhaps they haven’t realized
that they may be victims of bullying. In their innocent minds its child’s play.
Is the relationship between you and your child resilient enough for them to
share subjects with you?
Or…
2. Your child is one whom likes to test their
boundaries. Either good or bad, they simply enjoy knowing what they can get or
how far they can go. You also know that they know their limits when it comes to
others. What are the chances of he or she being part of group that bullies? In
their opinion it’s a game that involves team effort.
Or…
3. Your child is straightforward
in action. Sarcasm and having the last word is a way of expressing themselves.
You receive calls from school, church and any other place they’ve been. Are
they the bully or is someone bullying them?
The three mentioned are examples of what could be and not necessarily in
that manner. It could be a mixed match - the sweetest child in town is dirtiest
of all or the cruelest is the one being run over. Truth is, kids tend play hide
and seek during these situations and unfortunately, fear alongside shame will
be their greatest allies.
I have three boys, each one of three different worlds. My eldest is more
like number 1, because it happened in elementary school. The good news is that
my husband caught it on time. My second is more like number 2, because he tends
to acknowledge what others think. My youngest is more like number 3. That I
know of, neither one are bullies because we as parents speak to them on a
continual and I personally go beyond to show the after effects of abuse.
NOTE: Searching YouTube is a good sources for this.
You may have the same situation as I, which jumps into the question of…
·
Are we attentive enough to realize if there was a
problem?
·
Are we reading their appearance and/or character
and noticing if the change that occurred or may be occurring gradual or sudden?
I know… To many questions at one time that may be causing you to reanalyze
several things.
Sorry!
Walking through the hall towards the cafeteria she noticed
Brad coming up the left side. The vexation and livid emotions she felt
yesterday returned with a fuming opinion. How can a
man touch a woman like that? Papi always taught me that a woman is to be
touched with affection, no matter what. Continuing to watch
his approach, her surrounding became slow motion from one moment to another.
Curling her right hand into a fist she slammed his jaw line
with her graduation ring causing him to hit the floor and blood to spew from
the left side of his bottom lip.
An
echo sounded, “Fight!” triggering everyone to surround them.
“What is your problem!?” Brad spoke in dazed anger.
Standing over him as outraged tone and hyperactive breathing
consumed every portal of her body. “You’re my problem! Don’t you ever touch
Lacey again! And if you even think about getting close, you, the cops and I are
going to have a date!” - Reminiscence,
chapter 3
John 15:13 NLT
There is no greater love
than to lay down one’s life for one’s friend.
I’m one that has defended her husband and children by use of words
without cursing. I’m one that will be a friend till the end and will go as far
as needed with good reason. I’m also one that’s been verbally abused as child,
betrayed and has been blamed for things I didn’t do or for a circumstance I had
no control over. I’m one that listens to a person’s cry and sometimes join in
for empathy's purpose. I’m one that shares an opinion and let the person flow
from there. I’m also the one that will disconnect from people because their
venom is polluting my space.
All of the above was learned by personal experience or by watching others do or not do.
This
brings me to another question…
Who’s teaching your kids about abuse and the many kinds?
·
School and church is a good source, but we the
parents are to begin and end that conversation.
What are your kids watching or doing that may produce a negative input?
·
I was one little girl that uncovered things I
wasn’t supposed to, because my parents didn’t know how to watch me.
Where are they receiving information?
·
Friends, family and the unknown are good sources to
receive the good, bad and ugly information. Which takes me back to, we the parents are to begin and end the
conversation.
When and how is the right time to speak with your son and daughter?
·
From the moment they begin walking and speaking.
·
From the moment they begin to watch and ask.
·
From the moment they begin to hear and say.
·
And so on…
Why should you?
·
For every reason presented above.
