We
hear the tune and as soon as the words sound, you begin singing it along with
the soloist or choir. Yeah, you’re not American Idol material, but who cares.
The song is a prayer of surrender.
The questions
are what are you surrendering and is it your version of all?
·
Your
life for the first time or second? Not that God counts because He accepts
EVERYONE as they come.
Life’s
issues? Between morning and our night’s sleep we tend enter the world of work,
school, family, friends, church and all in between that brings forth all kinds
of issues. Even ones you had nothing to do with.
Personal
health and sometimes someone else’s becomes your focus.
If you search
Thesaurus.com you’ll read that the word All
has many synonyms associated with itself and similar words that describe more
or less of its same significance.
She placed her hand on Jocelyn’s shoulder. “You
know you can cry if you want to.”
She shook her head in defiance. “I don’t wanna
cry! I don’t wanna hurt! I don’t wanna feel anything!”
“What do you want?”
Nerves grabbed her throat as her knees shook
uncontrollably. “Honestly, I want to disappear! I want to run as far as I can
where no one can find me.”
“I can understand that.”
Reminiscence
Chapter, 13, Page 147
How often have
you heard that line? And, either during or after the line is spoken, you stare
at the person as though they’re being ridiculous.
And why? Because
you believe that no one ion God’s green earth and within the trillions of
individuals He’s created could have ever gone through what you’ve been through.
Such a simple and repetitive scheme and yet it works to Satan’s advantage
almost every time.
Could this be
you?
The words didn’t quite fit causing Jocelyn to overwhelm
with frustration. Getting up from the stool she started to pace and yell at the
lighted ceiling. “You understand! YOU understand? NO ONE understands! ARE YOU
LISTENING TO ME? NO ONE UNDERSTANDS!” She lowered her angered voice. “I am
supposed to be the temple of God where the Holy Spirit dwells. I am supposed to
keep myself pure and clean as an honor to Him. And look what happens, look at
me.” Her sobs took over while covering her eyes with one arm. “I’ve failed
because some jerk decided to take vengeance in the cruelest way.” Elaina walked
toward her extending a hug. Stubbornly, Jocelyn pulled away forcing her to
stop. “Please don’t. Me speaking and feeling like this, I don’t deserve a hug.”
Reminiscence Chapter, 13, Page
147
Perhaps not in
the specific way of the characters manner of speaking, but we do question on
why things happen. The fact that your body is a temple may not be a subject you
bring up, but the fact that you feel violated in any way and for whatever
reason and by whomever is enough.
And then the
thought of personal failure invades. Not only in your Christian walk but in any
other walk of life. It may equal to
shame that adds devaluation of you.
This is where we
tend to refuse to seek a listening ear or go in search for the person who’ll
have pity on us. You may even find the person who’ll pretend ti listen, give an
ambiguous advice and then roll their eyes behind your back proving that you’re
an imposition to their
life.
Fortunately, you
may find someone who’ll speak like this.
“I know you may not like what I’m going to say,
but as a Christian I have no choice but to say this. You are a child of God and
because of that you have to find a way to forgive those who wrong you at all
times. It will be hard and it will take some time, but you have to.” She closed
the space. “Do it for yourself, for your personal healing.”
Reminiscence Chapter, 13, Page
147
Personal Healing
Several years
ago my Pastor of Living Faith Christian Center invited Dr. Colbert to speak about health and nutrition.
What I didn’t expect him to speak about was forgiveness and how many are ill
because they refuse to practice it.
Forgiveness is a
very sensitive subject that so many of us are afraid to touch unless we’re in
church asking God for it. We think about what whoever did and hold on to that
without realizing that it’s affecting our heart, mind and character. Sometimes
it’s been so long since whoever did what that they’ve forgotten. So much so
that when we finally see them and not extend a word or hand they question it. Of
course we look at them and say with a harsh attitude, “Oh like you don’t know?”
Guess what? They
don’t!
You spend days
and months and even years holding on to something that’s destroying your
health. Take this time to begin repairing it.
Focused solely on her eyes, trying to touch
Jocelyn soulfully, “I know for a fact you did nothing, but it’s more of them
having a satisfaction of vengeance. You know Satan uses people whether they
know it or not and sometimes whether they like it or not. He uses weapons that
hurt the most and at a specific time. I’m sure Satan noticed how happy you were
with meeting a good man, going to a good church, discovering what may be your
greatest accomplishments as a person, in your career and your life.”
Reminiscence Chapter, 13, Page
148
It’s ugly and its
partner vengeance makes things even uglier. We already have people who don’t
like us, but to know that family and friends can scheme up things that cause us
to tumble down a hill?
·
- My childhood best friend who was also my maid-of-honor went to my mother and accused me of sleeping with her boyfriend. I didn’t come to know till after my honeymoon. She’s also the one who cut all communication with me and without reason. I haven’t seen or spoken with her in close to twenty years, per her choice.
My reaction was
filled with nonstop painful tears that equaled to days. Unanswered questions
disrupted my some of my night; we were
like sister, hung out every day since kindergarten. Anger of what she
accused me of, and of all people, to my mother. Anger because she never gave
face and I wasn’t able to defend my honor or snatch her throat. But then a
coward would never own up to the truth behind their lie.
- · A few years back I came to find out that an in-law doesn’t like our family because of me. They have yet to speak to me about the subject though they see me two or three times a year. Despite of that, I can assure that every time I see them I say hello way after long minutes have crossed from their arrival, which is always after my arrival.
How many times
have I sung this song? And just the same have taken the problem back? How about
you?
Living words spoken to her, and whether she liked
it or not they obligated a breakthrough. “How do I continue without falling?”
“You continue to walk Despite the facts. Sometimes
you’ll run – praising God through everything. Unfortunately, you will fall, but
thank our Father that Psalms 30 verse 5 says that weeping may endure for a
night, but joy comes in the morning. For every time you fall, make it a
determination to get up and even stronger.”
Reminiscence Chapter, 13, Page
147
I’ve come to
learn that my life is not valued according to someone else’s manner of thinking
towards me or the negative way they may speak about me. In fact, when it’s
brought to my attention, and after thinking about it for a rattling minute, I
come to the conclusion of, Wow I must be
that important in their life(s). Don’t get me wrong, words hurt and it
sometimes takes time to shove it off my shoulder, but it doesn’t take as long
as it used to.
I give it to God
every single time without taking it back as quickly as before. My hope is that
you come to a point of letting go – Surrender it All.
