“Mami, Papi que sucede?” Papi came over and in a quick pant answered
that Tío Victor had committed
suicide last night.
Jocelyn smiled as though it weren’t
true. “That can’t be, he’s a strong and happy man. His wife is young and they
had a child recently.”
Papi
looked at her with an affirming expression and reiterated that his youngest
brother was dead. Tío
Victor had pulled the trigger in a drunken outrage while in Abuelas
house; she heard the trigger that his wife witnessed with their child at hand.
Recognizing that she was spaced out
trying to force herself out of this reality, Antoni came from behind and turned
her around. Still rambling back and forth from English to Spanish trying to
convince that this was false, he sternly gazed into her eyes and practically
yelled, “Jocelyn! Listen to me, your
Tío
Victor is gone. He died last night.”
The words exploded in echoing sounds
as she consumed each syllable. And then her mind spoke, my
favorite uncle is dead? Then she spoke aloud, her voice sounding
distant and slow, “My favorite uncle is dead?” And then an outburst of
screaming rage and cries burst through as she grabbed his shirt with aggression.
Chapter 19, page 108 and 109
If you’ve ever cried
because of someone’s passing, then you have love dwelling within.
The segment above is
based on personal experience and happened during my young age of sixteen and
till this day I sometimes dwell on the fact that every time I go to Puerto Rico
I won’t see him.
I miss my Abuelas
and Abuelos. I
miss my Tío's
and Tia’s that passed away so long ago.
Several weeks ago I
lost my Tia Lydia to Cancer. Though it was expected it still hit and hard. And,
as soon as I received the message I went to her Facebook page and wrote a short
letter to her. Every word saw me crying…
Several days ago
Facebook reminded me that it was her birthday. I took a few minutes to read the
several birthday messages and thought about how she’s celebrating a new birth
in heaven."I may not have seen you as often as I would’ve loved to, but the few time I did were moments I will never forget. Your grace brought a smile and your joyous spirit fueled me with that same joy.To know that I may not see you the time I go to Puerto Rico crumbles my heart. Knowing that you’re dancing with Jesus enlightens my soul."
What
Do You See Love As?
If you were raised in
a Bible teaching church or studied Philosophy you’ll know that what you just
read is an example of Storge, the
Greek word for familial love.
Another Greek word we
know is Philia which
is often translated as friendship or brotherly
love.
One of the most popular,
and perhaps favorite, is Eros.
It refers to passionate or romantic love.
Above all others, Agape
is the most powerful and less lived of the four.
What
Love do you live?
I believe that
children are born and begin to live in Agape.
Their innocence has
them see and hear no evil for no matter who dose what to them, the very next
day they’ll go to the same person and begin to speak or play as though nothing
had happened.
They’re color blind.
Proof is expressed when they see another child, and without thought, introduce
themselves and begin to play.
As a child continues
their walk through life they’re taught about family, which includes the people
excluded from the family for whatever reason. Their route through school begins
to include friends of all sorts, until someone points out the difference in one
person from the other that then equals to they’re exclusion of people from
their lives. As teens they begin to see and gradually understand a liking for
the opposite sex that, if not careful, can also be dangerous.
Through it all the
child, that at one time saw and heard no evil, now sees things through a
teaching brought forth through adults, the TV or movie, and social media.
As young adults we’ll
think of someone and remember what they did or didn’t do, allowing whatever emotions
to show up. We’ll see someone coming our way and immediately react to how they
look or on what happened in the past. One positive word has us sometimes react
in a negative manner and a negative word energizes us to do worse. As elderly
folk we want to take control where none was given and speak our minds even if
it offends whomever.
I believe that adults
remember their good o’ days and forget that this is a new generation.
Our experience has us
seeing and hearing evil and it doesn’t matter who hasn’t done what, we will
automatically label that person or people. We tend to judge by the way they
look or what they say and automatically hang with our kind whether we know it or not.
It’s a silent controversy
that, you know as well as , have it’s truth.
(I give you permission to keep that a hush, hush.)
“For
God so loved the world, He gave...“
She interrupted him. “I know the
verse by memory.”
“Everyone does. But not everyone
understands its significance. You must read it from the beginning and stop to
listen what the Word is saying. For God so love the world He gave His only…For
God so love the world He gave His only...For God so love the world He gave His
only…” Repeating the specified words numerous times she suddenly, for the very
first time, discovered what the verse meant. Recognizing her discovery, he
smiled and continued. “While
Jesus
was on this earth He went through mental, physical, and heartfelt pain.
You
know His teaching, you know the history. But, remember, Jesus always had a
comeback for each mocker and mockery. He knew who they were and by use of Word,
He spoke their unfortunate reality. Despite it all, He loved them unconditionally.
In that love, He determined to walk and to be dragged through the long, brutal
road and was physically beaten with whips and finally nailed up.” The specific
scenes of The Passion of the Christ gave way to her imagination,
“Isaiah
53 explains His suffering and will show that the Father knows and understands
your struggles.”
Chapter
15
The subject, “God’s
Love” will forever be a matter of great interest, because the same question
pops up in our minds every day of our lives, whether we admit it or not.
- Does God really love me?
- He loves me even after I screwed up?
- If he loves me so much, as you say, how come I’m going through this stuff?
- If God so loved the world, then why are there sickness and poverty and evil?
There are so
many other questions that all I have to say is “Yadda, Yadda, Yadda.”
(Quote
borrowed from Seinfeld episode, “The Yadda Yadda")
A few months ago I was
listening to one of my favorite Evangelist, Jesse Duplantis. He shared one of
the most impactful words that, though I knew this, grabbed my core and brought
me to a higher level of understanding God’s Love.
Please note I’ll be
expressing it on how I heard and felt it and not how he said it word for word.
“God loves so much that despite of knowing what was going to happen to Lucifer, He still created him. He loves so much that despite of knowing that Adam and Eve were going to fall, He still created them. He loves so much that despite of knowing what humanity was going to become, He still create it.”
I Thank Him…
For creating me
For allowing me
to be who I was
For placing in
me the desire to be better than who I was yesterday
For holding me
back on days when I wanted to beat someone into a coma
For guiding me to
stay quiet when my words wanted to cut through and for speaking for me so my
words wouldn’t be as sharp
For teaching me
His humility
For helping me
to walk in His Love and picking me up when I’ve tripped and fell
For simply
loving me despite of all my backwards walk of life
We May Never…
Think as clearly
as His Son did, but we can ask the Holy Spirit to help us
Listen as unmistakably
as He does, but we can try
See thing as visibly
as He can, but we should strive to
Feel things
without letting our emotions get in the way, but with spiritual guidance we’re
capable of reaching that next level
Love as perfectly
as He did, but we do love and we can take a step forward to loving as He
Live as perfectly
as His Son, but all things are possible for them who believe
