Sunday, September 10, 2017

Stepping Up and Over

And Over 
Several months ago I worked for one of the most prominent hospitals in Philadelphia. I loved my position because of the people I worked with and for, the people I helped and associated with.


What I didn’t like was the person I worked under and how they decided to associate with me. I use the word decided, because at one time my manager and I got along and very well. At one time, they expressed appreciation for my work ethics with promotions and raises and I appreciated their recognition with dependability and respect.


One day the promotions seized, not because I wasn’t worthy of another, but because there was nowhere else to go, except out and onto another place of work. I was okay with staying where I was and working with them because I loved the connection. The raises continued, though not as high as before, but because that was part of the employment contract. Not receiving the high raises didn’t faze me, because I loved what I did.


My first position was located within the clinic, where my manager was able to see what I did and when I did it. My last position was located within the hospital, which was nowhere near my manager’s sight. Now it was the in-hospital physicians and other co-workers whom saw my work ethics and how I extended myself.


They said and I did, my manager said and I did, my co-workers said and I did. The patients called and I answered, the other doctors called and I went, the students needed to be trained and I trained. I hadn’t changed my loyalty and neither did my respect falter.


The situation was that my manager no longer saw and though people spoke well and accredited letters were written on my behalf they refused to acknowledge.


They instead began to believe the negative impute that came from one student who claimed that they were with me during a morning when they were supposed to be at the clinic training on how to be a good M.A. and yet was in neither place. I remember the one line that caught my attention within my first write up, “Inappropriate conduct with a student.” I also remember saying, “It sounds like I’m having an affair with the student,” and refused to sign the paper.




I’m not going to sit here and say I was the perfect employee, because I wasn’t and till this day I’m not. I’ve had my lateness, I’ve had my unscheduled PTO and I’ve had moments when I had to admit personal wrongdoing.There are no perfect employees or perfect managers. Unfortunately and fortunately we’re human.

I truly believe that a manager/supervisor has the right to constitute the proper discipline, but they don’t have the right to demean or intimidate anyone because of the authority they have over their employee.

During my last three years of my eleven years of working there I had gotten so tired of being called to my managers office and had become so overwhelmed with their daily calls of wanting to know what I was doing. Not out of disrespect to them, but because I was being reprimanded for things I had nothing to do with, or was being trained for something that had nothing to do with my position or the department that associated me to the hospital.

The conference calls between them and me, though they didn’t know I knew, included an anonymous person whom sat in their office and listened at the mockery my manager portrayed toward me.
  •          Does this sound schizophrenic? Yes
  •          Could it be me simply being an unappreciative bad employee? Yes

But I assure it wasn’t. My coworkers, the ones working in the clinic, shared their daily events with this same manager, listening to how one had a nervous breakdown or how the atmosphere changed upon their arrival. My coworkers, the ones whom worked alongside me, saw my work ethics diminish and my cheerful nature transform.


I recall returning from my manager’s office with the desire to hurt them. I was walking in circles trying to calm myself when one of the doctors tapped my shoulders and asked what the matter was. My answer was, “I feel like beating the living s---t out of …”
On another occasion I went to the bathroom when they happened to call the office phone. Since I didn’t answer, my manager decided to contact me via cell phone. As I said “hello” they proceeded to ask, “Where were you?” I answered, “In the bathroom.” Their response was, “You should have been at your desk answering my call!” and continued to yell at me for whatever reason.

My coworker, whose desk is several feet away, looked up at me with wide eyes shock at how they were able to hear my manager through my phone. I admit yelling back and then running into the bathroom and with anger punched the wall. My coworker followed and asked through the door if I was okay.

Every morning after that I hoped and wished that this was the day I was to be fired and every other day I pleaded to God to transform me into the loving spirit He had created me to be, the one I found in Him.

My last right up was based on someone overhearing me speak to someone on the office phone about an incident that occurred between a teacher and a sixteen year old student. Though I explained that the patient began the small talk and that I had switched the conversation to what they needed, I was written up for speaking about the news and not about work. According to my manager I had no authority to talk about anything other than work issues to clients and coworkers. If they, this included the doctors I worked with, spoke to me of any subject outside of my daily work I was to redirect from the conversation.

NOTE:  There is so much more to this particular story that every time I tell it the expression behind the word “What?” and the comments that come afterward are always the same.

You’re probably thinking, Why didn’t she apply for another position in the hospital?
Two reasons:
  1. Per hospital rule my manager had the right to refuse me wanting to transfer and anyone hiring me within another department. They had done it before.
  2. I wanted to work in an environment of one-on-one communication with people who needed me – my cheerfulness, my compassion and my helping hand. 

“Hi, Ms. Heathers!”
            Without looking up, she said, “Oh, you’re back. You can continue as yesterday and have all blank files updated with all missing sheets.”
            Placing her backpack on the floor, “Ms. Heathers I need to make copies.”
            Still facing down, “Do you know how to use the copier?”
            “Yes.”
            “Then use it.”
            Jocelyn was now sensing that this woman wasn't just having a bad day, but, in fact, didn’t like her. At one point, the woman entered the file room to verify the work, nitpicking at the most insignificant things. “The papers are slightly unaligned. Did you hole-punch them correctly?”
            “Yes, the copy machine hole-punched as it copied.”
            “You could have used the manual puncher.”
            “Yes, but it’s easier and less time consuming.”
            Giving her a snarled look, “It’s called being lazy!”


STEPPING - a movement made by lifting the foot and setting it down again in a new position, accompanied by a shifting of the weight of the body in the direction of the new position

UP - in a more elevated position

Every time I went to church I sought God with tears. I didn’t want to go back to the old me and I refused hating my manager for the state I felt they were placing me in.

Monday’s were the continuation of Sunday’s word pouring into me, while Tuesday was the beginning of it gradually pouring out of me. Wednesday night I served in Youth and allowed its essence to flow, while Thursday I returned to a heavy forum between my carnal self and my spiritual self. Friday’s came with the battle of elation for the weekend and the disorientation of knowing that the upcoming week I’d be back.


Despite of all that I had determined to pray blessing over my manager and the few who sided with them against me. I continued to speak God’s love over me and that it would overflow onto them.

I wasn’t about to step down from where God had placed me. I instead stepped up to where He needed me to be by stopping myself and refusing to speak evil against them, because I knew (and know) that the spoken word is a powerful weapon.

I consider loyalty to be one of the greatest virtues a person can acquire.
  •  Faithfulness to commitments or obligations
  •  Moral excellence; goodness; righteousness
  • To gain for oneself through one's actions or efforts

Loyal to whom?
  1. To God, because if it hadn’t been for Him I wouldn’t have been where I was. In a position of financial, personal and spiritual growth in between the stress I was in.
  2. Second was to my family, though they saw and felt what I was going through I was negated to bring my anger and stress and sadness and plant it in our atmosphere.
  3. my place of work. I had a position to maintain and a job to do that many expected me to do. I didn’t serve my doctors unwillingly, nor did I assist whoever needed my assistance bitterly.  I instead took charge in the only way I knew best … 


AND OVER

above in place or position

above and to the other side of

Several years prior to the conflicts the corporate offices had contracted a billing company that eventually took over the in-hospital medical billing, which was part of my daily schedule. I admit that it was a benefit for my doctors, but at the end it had taken two hours of my work day away enforcing me to find other work to fill that in. Thank God I was needed for translation.

Sadly the translating had to be limited because my manager didn’t like me being away from my desk and working side by side with the doctors she had assigned me to work with and for.

Along with that, corporate had also contracted a new computer program that would make the work flow easier for everyone associated with the hospital – inside and out.

Progressive change is always good unless it affects you in a negative way.

Several months into the New Year there were monthly meeting held that primarily discussed the fact that the new medical program would be able to dictate letters and send it directly to the appropriate people, make it easier for physicians to complete medical paperwork and notes, and file it in medical records. Meaning, it was taking over much of my administrative duties and in several more months my hours would be cut down to two a day.
The reality was that I either had to search for another place of work or return to the clinic.

Which would you choose?

I had already applied and was interviewed by several places. Unfortunately I was either over or underqualified. A few places wanted my skills and were willing to pay me well, but they were either too far or not what I was now thriving for.

And then I received a call to which I answered yes to. Yes to getting all kinds of background checks and yes to handing in my two week resignation.

I will never forget that Monday morning. My manager called my cell and explained that they needed to see me before 9 a.m. I explained, just as previous times, that on Monday mornings I had to complete work for my doctors that pertained to the past weekend, work that took time to complete. I couldn’t be there until 10am or later. Upon my arrival I said my hello’s to the clinic staff and then entered their office to then be yelled at for being late to the appointment. I simply sat there and stared silently until they were finished and then said that I needed to tell the something.

Their response, “You’ll wait till I finish!”

I nodded and they began to explain how I was to be trained to scan paperwork into the computerized in-hospital files.  I intern explained the problem with that idea, which should have been common sense to someone in their position.

“I would have to be staffed by the hospital filing department,” which was impossible since they had let go of many people because of the new program.

A light bulb seemed to have turned on, but because they were the type that didn’t like to be proven wrong, it turned off again to then ask, “What is it that you need to say.”

“I’m giving you my two week resignation.”

If only I could’ve taken a picture of the expression. They were mute for a bit and when they spoke the words stumbled out.

My last day was on Friday and my first day was the following Monday. The same Monday when my administrative duties would deteriorate to a measly two hours and the new program would officially take over.


What I Have Learned?

Have I learned not to trust my present manager or coworkers? No. That wouldn’t be fair or Godlike.

What I learned …


“You continue to walk Despite the facts. Sometimes you’ll run – praising God through everything. Unfortunately, you will fall, but thank our Father that Psalms 30 verse 5 says that weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. For every time you fall, make it a determination to get up and even stronger.”








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